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"Love Island"...Maiden Voyage or Shipwreck?



PLAYING THE GAME

“All I can do is ‘do me’ and hopefully she’ll come along?” quipped a male contestant to the other guys. “I’m just, like, playing the game.” Meanwhile, in another room on the resort, a young woman, naive to the men’s conversation, informs her female competitors “I have my whole wedding planned out. Literally, I have saved photos on my Instagram of the dress, the venue, the ring. The kid's names are picked out. I have it all planned out. Just need a guy.” Okayyyyy…

A different woman for each dinner course, contestants wearing heart rate monitors during a strip show to gauge to whom they might be attracted, several couples openly competing for the ultimate conquests in close quarters on an island: THIS MADNESS, my friends, is the expat serial from Great Britain in its Americanized form and this summer’s blockbuster television hit!  Hmmmm...interesting.

Channel surfing to another network, finds three sets of complete strangers marrying “at first sight,” while psychologists predict, or if we’re perfectly honest, take bets on which couple goes the distance to stay together. Insert eye roll here…

Flipping to a completely different station, one lands upon women performing unthinkable cutthroat acts against each other to get presented with “the rose” signifying  that an extremely superficial, self-indulgent guy dubs her “the one.” Let’s not forget the “female lead” version of the same show. UGHHHHHH…

TWISTED THINKING

How on earth did single people get to the “Love Island” brand mentality?” Wanna hear it? Here it goes...Desperation, low self-esteem, brokenness, self-hate, insecurity, lack of focus, backward cultural pressure/messages regarding relationships, misunderstanding their purpose, and my personal pet peeve...viewing marriage as “THE BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT!”

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Since this is my initial blog post, I guess I should’ve warned my audience that I’m known to be brutally honest. Loving. Kind. Giving. AND BRUTALLY HONEST! If you’re “Single and Amazing,” a supporter, family member, married acquaintance, or friend of those of us whom I affectionately call “AMAZERS,” I hope you can handle the truth and admit your part in this societal progression.

SUBLIMINAL PROGRAMMING

From the time a girl is born, she is socialized to believe that whether she possesses the strongest scientific mind, most brilliant legal understanding, an awe-inspiring creative spirit, or multi-billion dollar entrepreneurial skills, she is still “incomplete” unless she acquires the “ring by Spring.” Subliminal messages constantly program women to find (or “be found by” in religious circles) Mr. Right before their biological clock ticks its last tock. If you think only women feel this societal pressure, think again. In an unofficial online poll, 68% of men surveyed admitted to dating, and even marrying, people whom they knew were not good matches for them simply because they didn’t want family and friends to “question their masculinity” because of lack of a romantic partner. Additionally, in a recent NY Times article, actress and talk show host, Whoopi Goldberg, describes why she believes she experienced three failed marriages. “People expect you to have a boyfriend. They expect you to get married. So I kept trying to do that...Then one day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. You can’t be in a marriage because everybody’s expecting you to.” https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/07/08/magazine/whoopi-goldberg-controversy.html

To this madness, I say “STOP!” Stop pressuring people to “boo up” to fit into archaic timelines, boxes, and traditions. This coercion promotes anxiety, damaged esteem, poor/dangerous choices, and increased divorce rates.

According to The Council for State Governments, there are approximately 84 men to every 100 women in the United States. If you’re smarter than a 2nd grader and do the math, you can figure there will be folks who will fall through the “marital cracks” or DECIDE that living their best lives doesn’t necessarily include coupling up. Should these folks be made to feel as if they are “less than,” “incomplete,” or need to acquire something/someone they don’t have? When is someone going to stand against the culture and say “Don’t allow the atmosphere to make you feel broken, diseased, or as if you’re missing out?” Raising and waving my hand vigorously...YEP, IT’S ME! I'M THE WOMAN FOR THE JOB!

LIBERATION IS HERE!

Single friends, let it be known, YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

You were born a WHOLE person with purpose, gifts, talents, and a wonderfully UNIQUE personality. That’s your superpower! If you were in a relationship/marriage, and for whatever reason are no longer, YOUR PURPOSE DIDN’T DIE WITH THE RELATIONSHIP! There is NO ONE exactly like you! I’m sure you’ve heard this and brushed it off as cliche. However, it is TRUTH! Embrace it!

No one has ever seen the Apple Corporation walking around whining “I sure hope Microsoft finds me...I want a merger! I’m going to wait...and in the right time, the corporation that’s meant for me will find me!” As ridiculous as it sounds, that’s the way single people have been taught, by very well-meaning folks, to conduct our lives. Well, the reason Apple IS NOT waiting for Microsoft is that Apple is a successful, unique, WHOLE, prospering corporation in and of itself! It knows its worth ($1 TRILLION as of 2019), and will not compromise its purpose or mission. If at some point Apple decides to join its unique qualities with Microsoft, they can create something that’s never existed. That’s great! However, if Microsoft is not a compatible business partner, Apple will continue prospering, growing, and changing the world. Why? Because it’s SINGLE (whole) and AMAZING (impressive), and so are you!

Now is the time for people who are single: 18 and single, 27 and single, 45 and single, 63 and single, 88 and single, widowed and single, divorced and single, single and single, or ANY BRAND OF SINGLE to abandon the idea of postponing our happiness, and begin glorying in the ADVENTURE, JOY, and POWER of the AMAZING SINGLE LIFE!

Welcome to SINGLE and AMAZING!!!!

2 comments

  • You are amazing! This is amazing!
    …Such an inspiration for many.

    Scheherazade
  • Debbi, thank you for embodying the life of “Single and Amazing”! You are a wonderful role model, and I look forward to reading more. You are inspirational, my friend!

    Bethany

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